The work of grieving and mourning is heart work not head work. When we stay in our heads while grieving, we over analyze our feelings or dismiss them. We fall prey to the myth that time heals all and we should just get over what has happened to us in a certain time frame (as if that exists… pfft).
Grieving and mourning refers to work that is done in the heart because the person’s heart is broken. Shattered. It is in a million pieces. To do the work “in your heart” means staying with the feelings and emotions of your heart and feeling what you need to feel for however long you need to feel it. I have said this before; however, it is something that is worth repeating,”It is not that time heals all, but rather what we do with the time that will heal us.”
In the early days of grief, it is important to just be. Don’t worry about what to do next or how you will get there… just be. Pace yourself. Let yourself rest, even if you can’t sleep. Drink plenty of water and take in small meals to keep your energy up. Surround yourself with supportive, non-judgemental family and friends who understand that you are doing the best you can in this moment.
A broken heart needs to heal in its own way and its own time. Stay out of your head and in your heart to do the work of healing and mourning.