MIXED MESSAGES THAT CONFUSE THE BEREAVED

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From sympathy cards to handwritten notes, from neighbors to family, and from social workers to counselors there is plenty of “do this/do that” or “try this/try that” conversations offered to the bereaved. I have been bereaved and I have been the support for others; therefore, I have also been the transmitter and the receiver of […]

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YOU NEED ONLY FOCUS ON THIS ONE MOMENT

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The journey of grief is overwhelming. Let’ s face it… it’ s hard, sad, exhausting and takes every ounce of energy to get through the day. It doesn’ t always stay that way; however, to get to the other side of the pain takes some endurance. Unfortunately, we live in a society that supports moving […]

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NOBODY DIES FROM CRYING

Oct 22

Tears are often interpreted as a sign of weakness. It is especially true for males who hear from a young age that “big boys don’t cry.” For women, while it is more acceptable for us to be emotional, the approval is often qualified with: “high strung, over-emotional, drama-queen, or hysterical.”It’s all bunk. Yes, there is […]

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THE ONION EFFECT: UNDERSTANDING THE TEARS AND LAYERS OF LOSS

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As an individual travels the journey of grief, the magnitude and impact of loss is revealed in layers. Much like peeling an onion, the deeper the cut, the more tears shed. Why? Loss is incredibly painful, life-changing, chaotic, and strikes without choice. Traditional teachings state loss results from death, divorce, and other life transitions. Today’s […]

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LOSS OF FAITH

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There are a number of ways that we can lose faith. When someone disappoints or betrays us, we lose faith in them. Individuals experiencing the death of a loved or a significant loss (e.g. job loss) may also say they have lost faith in God, the world, society-at-large, or in people they know. This is […]

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MOURNING AVOIDANCE

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Losing a loved one is without choice or negotiation. We don’t get to be a part of the decision. The death of a loved one usually blindsides us and then we are forced to try and figure out how to survive the ordeal and a life without them. Doing the work of grieving and mourning is not […]

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LOSS OF A SIBLING

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When my brother died, I felt as though part of me died too. I wasn’t alone in that. Brian’s wife, three children, my mother and my other siblings all felt the same. Brian had a large extended family and a circle of friends who were also devastated by his death. His sudden death left a huge void for […]

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WHAT IS A GRIEF BURST AND HOW DO YOU PREVENT ONE?

August 7 2014 tears

A grief burst is a “perfectly normal experience” after losing a loved one. A grief burst is just that… a burst of sadness and sorrow triggered by the sight of something, a song, something you read, or by a memory.  When you experience a grief burst, you may cry, have an overwhelming feeling of sadness, […]

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RESILIENCE DOESN’T TAKE AWAY THE PAIN

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To be resilient means to be able to bounce back from a difficult situation. When people hold the perception that another is strong, they also assume they are resilient and no matter what comes their way, the person is able to bounce back quickly from the situation. This skewed way of thinking is often directed at […]

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