Feeling stuck in our journey is a common experience for many. When it happens, we feel this “push me pull you”, which is an internal nudge to do something different in life. It’s not uncommon to have no idea where to begin. Depending where you are at on the grief journey, you may not even have the energy to make changes!
You may have said one or all of the following: “Do this, try that.” “I can’t; it’s too much.” “It’s overwhelming.” So the first thing to do is take it slow. Cut yourself some slack and know that you are doing the best you can in the situation you are in.
Below is an exercise to mimic the sensation of holding tightly onto a feeling or experience and then the relief we experience when we let go, and this is followed by some steps you can take to get life moving forward.
Exercise: Make a fist with your writing or stronger hand and envision you are holding on to a feeling, emotion, or power. Hold tightly and strengthen your grip until you can hold it no longer. Then slowly begin to release the grip and unfold your hand. What does that feel like? Were you holding your breath? Was your fist trembling?
• This demonstrates that what we are holding on to is what takes our energy, our focus, and our power (e.g. holding on to anger, resentment, and sorrow consumes our energy and focus).
• It further demonstrates that when we hold on to something we are removed from the “here and now.” You can’t see the world and beauty around you when your focus is to hold on to an experience.
• Did you feel a sense of relief as you began to “let go”? “Letting go” is key to moving forward.
Ten Choices to Make When Life Feels Stuck!
1. Choose your feelings
We have the right to choose our feelings and which of those feelings will take our attention. Acknowledge; name; and observe and choose where your attention will be.
2. Choose forgiveness for others and yourself
Learning to forgive does not mean you are saying “It’s okay what you did to me” or “I have no right to be angry.” You forgive the person, not the action. In forgiving you are taking back your power and saying “I will not be a vessel for this ill feeling any longer. I will not carry this anger in response to your actions. I will not allow you or anyone else to do this to me again.” We also must forgive ourselves for past mistakes.
3. Choose to let go of anger and resentment
It’s natural to have anger and resentment at times. However, it’s not natural to carry those feelings around indefinitely because in doing so it stops you from “living”. Acknowledge the anger, give it a name, let it go, and move forward. By holding these dark issues we give them the power and control. Letting go takes back the control and opens your heart to receive something new and better.
4. Choose the present moment over the past or future
The present moment is all we have. Everything else (even as you read this) is one second in the past and one second in the future. By focusing on what happened in the past, you will remain living in the past. By worrying about what will or could happen in the future, you create anxiety. By learning to be present in the moment, you begin to experience life more fully and see the beauty around you right now.
5. Choose your thoughts to direct your life
Learn and use the Universal Law of Attraction (i.e. like attracts like; positive attracts positive, and understand that negative attracts negative). If you put out positive thoughts you attract positive situations, people, and opportunities.
6. Choose your soulful self over your physical self
The soul remains intact regardless of what happens to our physical bodies. The blood and flesh are mere packaging. No matter what circumstances we endure, our spiritual being remains intact. You can choose to reclaim that essence. Don’t let your physical capabilities or deficits define who you are!
7. Choose where you hold your power
Learn to center your energy on your inner self, and be mindfully aware of where you put your attention. Choose positive energy over negative energy. Learn to let go of situations and people if it is not for your higher good. Sometimes our story with others in life has come to an end and letting go of the relationship is healthy for everyone involved.
8. Choose to trust your inner self and create balance in life
We hold all the answers within to resolve situations, create what we want, and to manifest what we need. We need to pay more attention to information, feelings, and intuition that comes to us when we have asked for answers. Often, we aren’t listening. Learn to follow your instincts with confidence.
9. Choose to expect and receive abundance, prosperity and happiness
Once we are in balance, we can expect to have all our needs met. We are worthy of having abundance of love, money, happiness. We must ask for what we need and want and then be sure we do not sabotage our requests with negative thinking (fear-based emotions.)
10. Choose to discover your life purpose
We come to earth with a purpose; this life purpose is different for everyone. It can be anything from being a gardener to being someone famous, or someone who is makes worldly contribution quietly in the background. Often circumstances (tragedy) will move us to find this purpose. We must ask, trust, and follow. When you find it, you will know that is it. You feel it. Living our life purpose brings us joy and harmony.