The Endings Are Not Ours to Write

Death is something that is truly beyond our control. Yes, we can do things in life to help us live as long and as healthy as possible, but death is not something we can control.
Following the deaths of my brother-in-law (23), my father (54), my brother (39), my husband (37) and my friend (42), I struggled whenever it felt like life was moving forward. It was difficult to allow myself to laugh again, to feel some joy, or to make plans for the future. This became deeply apparent after I met and fell in love with a man about 14 months after my husband died. I didn’t expect it to happen, but it did.
When I made the decision to remarry, I was overwhelmed with guilt. Actually, it was torture… on one hand I was overjoyed with bliss and excitement, and on the other hand, it felt disrespectful and hurtful to my first husband and children. It was then that I came to this realization… “I had to forgive myself for being the one left here to live.”
Part of my healing was to understand that we do not get to choose who will die, when they will die, or how they will die. What we can do is to know and trust in our hearts that PEOPLE LIVE UNTIL THEY DIE. They live. And we all deserve to do the same… live until we die.
Truly embrace life and live… we get one opportunity.

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