I have no idea how or really why, but I do know that going to the water’s edge and allowing yourself time to sit in silence is magical. Close your eyes, breathe in the air and allow its gentleness to kiss your face. The sound of water not only soothes the soul, but it absolutely calms the mind and helps to shut out the extraneous noise of the world… and grief.
After Gerry died, almost daily, I would take the girls to school and then head to the lake. It was late October. It was cold and blustery and I don’t think that I ever encountered another person there. I would sit on the bench and just stare and listen… stare and listen… stare… listen. Some days I would watch and wait … hoping for a sign … yearning for something to show that he was hovering close by. But most days, I just sat … numb. Hollow. Sad. Yet, it was where I felt the most peace.
The lesson learned was to not be afraid of the silence. To find comfort in the beauty of nature and to be someplace where the vastness of my surroundings helped me to feel that there was really no beginning and no ending. Eventually, I stopped the daily treks across the sand. I wasn’t healed by any means, but I know longer felt the need to drown out the sounds of life around me.
I have some thoughtful suggestions in my book Life Losses: Healing for a Broken Heart which you can order right from my website. Remember it isn’t any one thing that will bring you healing. There will be many things and many ways that help you to move forward. Trust your heart and follow your instincts. It’s okay to do grief your own way.